well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
