Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
