i permit you to call me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
