Need sex. Gaining weight.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
