you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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