just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
