So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
