Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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