Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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