i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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