i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
