are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
