Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
