I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
