I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
