If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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