He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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