a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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