Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
