I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
