well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
As shirtless as possible
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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