my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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