sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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