tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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