She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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