She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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