I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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