just come out here and I will go home with you...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
