Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
