You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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