Screwed.edu
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
