Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
