Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
