This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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