so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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