U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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