They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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