You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
