You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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