What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
