I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
