he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
