the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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