She's JV to your varsity
I have demons in me.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
