btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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