Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
