i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
