I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
