Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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