Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
ok first of all what the fuck
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
