Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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